Tag Archive for #motherhood

For the Parent that Knows Nothing About Parenting (From a Parent that Knows Nothing, Either)

Dear Evangeline,   I have a bit of news for you and, while I do think I will regret writing this at some point in your teenage future, it’s just something I need to get off my chest: I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing. Specifically, I mean that in regards to parenting, but that very general statement can… Read more →

Does November’s Ballot Mimic the State of Motherhood?

Last night, the Democratic Party officially nominated a woman who does not know how to keep her mouth shut. She embodies so many qualities that I hope my daughter does not come to possess (read: impishness, for one), but Hillary’s outspokenness is hardly one of them. Au contraire, mon amie! Hillary’s voice represents a collective one, and the tenor of… Read more →

The Worst Day of Our Wonderful Life

Life: so cruel, so heartbreaking, yet so beautiful. We spend so much of it looking for meaning; searching for answers. But something happened to my family yesterday that had no meaning. It was tragic, ruthless, and stole a piece of my family’s soul. And that piece of our meaning, that part of our life…we’ve lost it forever. We, as a… Read more →

My Big Wish for Mother’s Day

Dear Evangeline,   On Sunday, we will celebrate motherhood. And the truth is, I’m just a novice. When I look back on your first year of life, I fondly remember your first smile, your first roll, and your first steps. But, mostly, I remember feeling inadequate. Depressed. Exhausted. Lonely and sick. Anxious, even. And I often wonder, still, how I… Read more →

When MASH Builds Dreams, and Infertility Burns Them

[Date: January 31, 1998     Location: Huntington, NY] My pencil was quickly swirling when Courtney yelled, “STOP!” She snatched the paper from my grip and after just a few moments, she delivered my future. “Two kids and a dusty haired husband. You’ll live in New York and you’re going to be a really tired doctor.” My heart thumped just… Read more →

I Decided to Not Kill Your Daddy

Dear Evangeline, It was just about three years ago that the thoughts began to swirl around my head. It was about the same point in time that I became cognizant of my own clinical depression; lucky for daddy, I’d say, because without some self-awareness I’m sure things would not have ended pretty. You see, Evangeline, I still can’t pinpoint exactly… Read more →

On Regrets, Loneliness and Young Motherhood

Dear Evangeline,   The space was dark and we were sitting tightly packed together, legs tucked snuggly under the bar when she asked me, “has it been lonely for you? I mean, having a kid before any of our friends have? It must be hard.” I had just celebrated my 31st birthday, and your 3rd. Still, I sit now on… Read more →

Don’t Believe Darwin

Dear Evangeline, I have to admit something. It’s something that won’t come as a surprise to those that know me best, but you’re getting to know me pretty damn well these days so it’s about time I just say it. So many little girls grow up dreaming of their wedding day, and how many kids they’re going to have. But… Read more →

Oh, Baby?

Dear Evangeline, Your third birthday just passed, and with it went a small piece of hope that has long been living within me. It was maybe one year ago that you began to ask mommy and daddy for a baby sister. “I’ll name her ‘pizza’ mommy,” you often say. And if I could be lucky enough to carry her for… Read more →

The Day I Met God

Dear Evangeline, It’s been a year now but I have little doubt that the moment left an indelible mark on my mind, like a short video that sits on my I-Cloud. I know it isn’t going anywhere, but I only like to view it sparingly. I was sitting in one of those plastic chairs, the kind hospitals provide for visitors just to make sure… Read more →

%d bloggers like this: