Love Letters

Does November’s Ballot Mimic the State of Motherhood?

Last night, the Democratic Party officially nominated a woman who does not know how to keep her mouth shut. She embodies so many qualities that I hope my daughter does not come to possess (read: impishness, for one), but Hillary’s outspokenness is hardly one of them. Au contraire, mon amie! Hillary’s voice represents a collective one, and the tenor of… Read more →

A First Step in My Contribution to #BLM: Teaching My Daughter to See Race

I can remember the first time it happened. It was the beginning of the school year and I was in second grade. A little girl with dark skin took up the desk next to me, but I had never seen her before. It quickly became apparent to me that she did not speak English. I was intrigued. I went home… Read more →

My Big Wish for Mother’s Day

Dear Evangeline,   On Sunday, we will celebrate motherhood. And the truth is, I’m just a novice. When I look back on your first year of life, I fondly remember your first smile, your first roll, and your first steps. But, mostly, I remember feeling inadequate. Depressed. Exhausted. Lonely and sick. Anxious, even. And I often wonder, still, how I… Read more →

I Decided to Not Kill Your Daddy

Dear Evangeline, It was just about three years ago that the thoughts began to swirl around my head. It was about the same point in time that I became cognizant of my own clinical depression; lucky for daddy, I’d say, because without some self-awareness I’m sure things would not have ended pretty. You see, Evangeline, I still can’t pinpoint exactly… Read more →

On Regrets, Loneliness and Young Motherhood

Dear Evangeline,   The space was dark and we were sitting tightly packed together, legs tucked snuggly under the bar when she asked me, “has it been lonely for you? I mean, having a kid before any of our friends have? It must be hard.” I had just celebrated my 31st birthday, and your 3rd. Still, I sit now on… Read more →

Don’t Believe Darwin

Dear Evangeline, I have to admit something. It’s something that won’t come as a surprise to those that know me best, but you’re getting to know me pretty damn well these days so it’s about time I just say it. So many little girls grow up dreaming of their wedding day, and how many kids they’re going to have. But… Read more →

The Weeds of Motherhood

Dear Evangeline,   We’ve had a rough week, kid. My brain is running on empty and I am fairly certain I’ve been getting a new zit on my face every hour. Parenting is amazingly hard. I had a fresh appreciation for that fact when I visited your pop-pop in the hospital last night. After spending the first half of the day… Read more →

The Day I Met God

Dear Evangeline, It’s been a year now but I have little doubt that the moment left an indelible mark on my mind, like a short video that sits on my I-Cloud. I know it isn’t going anywhere, but I only like to view it sparingly. I was sitting in one of those plastic chairs, the kind hospitals provide for visitors just to make sure… Read more →

Mommy’s Tinder Account

Dear Evangeline, When I was 16 years old, some old man told me, “live it up, kid. Because it’s all downhill from here.” And I have good reasons to believe he wasn’t alluding to the fact that I had no mortgage to pay, children to take care of, or taxes to tally. He was referring to the imminent downward spiral of my… Read more →

Motherhood & Doctorhood, Go Together Like a Horse & Carriage?

Dear Evangeline,   When you reach that ripe age of three and learn how to google mommy’s name, you’ll be brought to these pages. You’ll also notice there has been a four month-long gap in my writing. Well, mommy’s been going through something that we call in the world of adults, “some shit.” I didn’t feel like talking about it. I still… Read more →

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